The super emotional Parents!

So how does one comfort the crying parents when you are about to leave with your new husband to embark on this new journey in life called Marriage?

I laughed my way through Vidai and Doli...but my Mom couldn't stop crying and i found it really hard to comfort her. I told her we were going to meet the very next day..and that it is not going to be any different (I lived in a hostel for almost 5 years post school)...but it was all awkward and difficult...

I'm back!

Hello there my dear friends!
Sorry to have kept you waiting all this while for news from me....but here I am now and plan to be more regular from here on.
I arrived in Pune, Maharashtra on the 5th of this month (post my wedding and honeymoon..that's another post with pictures) all excited to set up my new house and make new friends, when two days later our Landlady calls and asks us to vacate the apartment by the end of the month, for she was moving back to the city!
I almost cried.
So we put some of our shopping for the house on hold and started to look for a house to live in all over again.
I am currently living in a beautiful society in Wakad area of Pune called The Woods. It is beautiful...green with a swimming pool and a fully functional club, squash courts, tennis courts...my Husband totally loves it (Husband yayaay I'm married). I like it too but for me it is a little far from the city and to buy every little thing say just eggs....its a 15 minute drive to Aundh area in the city (reasonable area to live in with thriving markets).
So I insisted on seeing some houses in Aundh as well. It is an old area and the building complexes are also old and not as fancy as The Woods. We have also seen an apartment in Aundh which we like..but the complex doesn't have a pool and squash court (that is a downer for my husband).
After a minor argument yesterday my impulsive husband called the broker to fix the deal on the apartment in Aundh. This is our first major project as a couple and I'm glad it happened...we are getting to learn a lot about each other, our likes and dislikes and how we make decisions..what guides us to them...it is important to see the positives in this situation. I just hope the apartment in Aundh proves lucky for both of us and that the whole shifting process is smooth. I hope my husband grows to like it a little more.
So that's that...we will be moving by the 1st week of March.
Hmm so rewinding a little...my wedding ceremony and all the pre and post ceremonies were super fun and went smooth...except for minor glitches like worst fog in Delhi in 7 Yrs on my wedding night...hahahha what a night it was....I'll share it in my next post with some pics for you to see :)
See you soon!

a dozen to go

Hello all......i'm sorry i haven't been blogging and telling you all about my wedding preparations....i really am sorry and how i wish i had taken out more time to talk here...but well...now there are only 12 days to go before i tie the knot..and i thought i'd come in and say hello..:)
the not so fat budget is really big now i feel bad that i am overshooting it....but well we don't really have a choice now and hopefully i will get all that i want from all the money that is being spent!! i have my fingers crossed!!
Delhi is super cold these days and i'm hoping it becomes warmer in the next few days....and please god..no rain...just no rain puhleeeeez!!

oh i am really happy with my wedding saree and the accessories....so thats sorted out...i still haven't decided on what to wear on the mehndi and sangeet ...i think i'll pick one from the many new clothes that i have!!
oh and for the shagun ceremony i am wearing a beautiful saree that my mom in law got me from calcutta....will be back again soon with some more info and hopefully some pictures!!
wish me luck..!!
see ya

The Cultural Divide

I didn't think it exists...not in urban India..not in Delhi and definitely not around me, but it does and I seem to have only recently woken up to it.

You know I am a Punjabi Kshatriya (derived from Sanskrit ksatra meaning power, dominion, government) girl and I am about to marry a Vaisya (derived from Vishal meaning to live essentially merchant and trader community) boy with roots in Haryana.

Ideally there shouldn't really be a big cultural/ideological divide between the two castes. They are similar in status, both belong to Northern India and both today speak Hindi.

I realised it isn't as easy as I thought and that there still exists a big divide between the two cultures. Now I wonder if this cultural and ideological difference exists because of the caste one belongs to or are other factors such as occupation, social/regional/family backgrounds, exposure etc. more important?

The Problem:
I come from a very liberal family background and am really thankful for it. I have seen my cousins/aunts/uncles get married to partners of their choice ranging from Marathis/Bengalis/Jains/Biharis/Japanese/Italian/Tamilians/Marwaris..inter region, inter caste, inter religion.
I grew up in such environments and it has been such a blast! I thought that all my friends and contemporaries come from a similar set up...and most of them do.

When I met my 'Mister' he was so cool and open. I was studying in a Design College (extremely radical) and he in an Engineering College. Mister wanted to write a book and travel the world, make a short film and spend all the savings (when talking about future) on music and books and movies. We must keep only necessary furniture when we have a house he'd say..we were 20 then. looking at him I imagined/ assumed he came from an equally liberal family.
Mister is cool and open today as well...but I realised that his family is more conservative than I thought possible and this discovery came as a small shock. It has unsettled me. Please note that when I say his family, I am talking of his larger family which is conservative (they haven't had a single inter caste/love marriage in the family) and in turn it makes Mister's immediate family of 5 become conformists just so they can please the larger family. In isolation I think the 5 of them do just fine and maybe liberal at heart...but only in isolation and weddings aren't one of those occasions where isolation is possible. Not everything is as smooth as I imagined because of this and that is my problem!

Now what should I do? How do I come to terms with this reality? How come I didn't prepare myself for it? What is expected from the Liberal Daughter in Law facing this Conservative Reality? Why didn't Mister prepare me enough for this? Why must I feel like an outsider and the guilty party when in reality it isn't me who the family should be up against but the Son who didn't comply with their wishes?

Are feelings like these normal and every bride to be goes through them? Is this just a phase and will pass? I hope so! I would love to know what you think about this and if any of you relate to some part of it?

Oh and to top it all my horoscope says I'm "Manglik" (its not a good thing) and that is the material for another post!

ps: this post is in no way meant to hurt "to be family" in case they are reading this, its just a feeling and i would love it if you give me your veiws and feedback:)

And So It Begins

I will soon be officially begining the hunt for the wedding venue...the dates are fixed...yippeeee!!
To get a beautiful and aesthetically pleasing venue on a tight budget on the decided date is going to be a challenge...but I'm keeping my fingers crossed...!!